Altered States: Cartels and Cave Mongs

Well it's been a while since I sat down and enjoyed a good, old fashioned, 80s, B-grade horror flick. From Ken Russell; the man who brought you Oliver Reed fighting naked in front of a roaring fire, I give you "Altered States".

It follows the story of Edward Jessop, a professor in "Abnormal Psychology" who frequently experiments with sensory deprivation and mind altering drugs in order to reach some other form of consciousness. Instead of chugging a bottle of gin at a friend's party and locking himself in the bathroom like most normal people, Eddie makes his way to Mexico to trip balls with the natives in a suitably dramatic fashion.

When I say dramatic I understate somewhat because this film was directed by a man who once filmed a scene depicting a nun masturbating with a charred human femur. So what can we possibly expect from such a film?

WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW?!

Nothing. Nothing that's what. You watch and you get what you get. And what you get is a demonic, seven eyed ram. Why? Fuck off. How dare you. You come here from the world of gun-metal grey first person shooters, endless sequels and homogenous, de-bollocked everything and you have the gall to question the need for this? Stare into his eyes and beg forgiveness you congealed placental stain on the bedsheet of life.

But enough hoof-licking. This film was written by legendary screenwriter Paddy Chayefsky based on his own novel; who clearly wasn't happy with the result because he's credited as "Sidney Aaron". Why he wasn't happy with this is beyond me. It's about a man who devolves into proto-human form through a combination of Mexican drugs and mad scientist level zeal. Between this premise and the hiring of Ken Russell (whose final film was simply titled "Whore") there was very little space to fuck up.

To be fair it does have its faults. Aside from some unintentionally funny hallucinations which border the line between unsettling and genuinely giggle-worthy, it lacks a satisfying ending. Not only does the film seem to simply stop instead of properly resolving itself, it's unconvincingly happy considering the somewhat Lovecraftian tone of the rest of the film.

Pictured: What happens when there's a fire at the Sex Doll Factory.

You can certainly tell this was written by Chayefsky though. Just check out the highly acclaimed classic film "Network" and you'll notice how he favours melodramatic tones and highly analytical dialogue. This isn't bad by any stretch but few actors can pull it off convincingly. Luckily this film has some; particularly in Charles Haid of "Hill Street Blues" fame, who portrays my favourite character in the film "Mason". Mostly because he swears and yells a lot, is an angry bastard but genuinely seems to care underneath it all. My sort of character really. 

What you really want to watch this film for however is how pigeon-eatingly demented it is. Aside from the hallucination sequences you have a scene where the main character regresses back into a feral caveman state (those Mexican Cartels cook up some strong shit) escapes into the city and picks fights with animals at the zoo. And yet somehow it doesn't force me to take it less seriously.

Between the psychedelic visuals and themes surrounding man's monkey origins you could almost say this is the "2001: A Space Odyssey" of horror films. Despite it's crap ending it ends up being memorable and even somewhat creepy at times. Especially when you consider that there could be a Mexican drug fuelled, cave mong lurking deep within us all.

And in the long run it's the everyday horrors like that that resonate with us. Am I right?

If anyone needs me I'll be at Church.