HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA....!
Wait... *gasp*... wait, wait..... let me get back up.
So....
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA....!
Okay.... okay.
So I'm reminded of quite a few things here.
I'm reminded of when Fredric Wertham wrote the book "Seduction of the Innocent," which claimed - amongst other things - that Batman would turn kids gay. This resulted in comics companies voluntarily establishing the Comics Code Authority so that they wouldn't have to deal with government censorship because they would be effectively censoring themselves (and that will most certainly become relevant later).
I'm also reminded of when "Video Nasties" were supposed to turn your kids into murderers immediately upon contact with their fragile retinas. The outrage over which led to video shop owners being arrested simply for selling them, and movies like "Apocalypse Now" and "The Big Red One" being confiscated (the latter of which police thought was a porn film) because the authorities didn't know what the fuck they were looking for because blind hysteria is not a good way to carry out a coordinated effort on behalf of public safety (I highly recommend you check out this documentary if you want more info).
I am further reminded of the moral panic surrounding rock music and Dungeons and Dragons that resulted in functionally retarded movies like "Rock, It's Your Decision" or the eternally laughed at "Mazes and Monsters" starring a young and probably very embarrassed Tom Hanks, who I'm sure has never pushed for a secret campaign to burn every copy of this film.
The former - "Rock, It's Your Decision" - tells the story of a teenage boy named Jeff, who loves rock and roll, but ends up turning against the thing that he loves, as well as his heathen friends, when his religious parents and local priest convince him that rock is the Devil's music. By the end of the film Jeff is a friendless, humourless, proselytizing madman and the film almost seems to push the exact opposite of the point it was trying to make. Not that rock and roll is a blight on society; but rather that when you push all the fun and friendship out of your life for the sake of perceived personal virtue, then you become an insufferable shit-hydrant with no friends who will eventually start up a ministry preaching such virtues, raking in loads of cash and then getting caught doing meth and shagging rent boys.
Then there was the PMRC (Parents Music Resource Center), founded by four fun-vampires as a weekend project, presumably because they got bored of watching all their husbands actually work for a living. Because as the Cold War still raged on, these brave women thought the most pressing issue of the time was whether small children could access music with naughty words in it. This resulted in those almost iconic "Parental Advisory" stickers we all know and love. Though not without some opposition:
And of course we can't talk about moral panics without talking about video games now can we? No matter how many times it's debunked, video games will always serve as a scapegoat for real life violence, because good parenting has become such an alien concept that people are somehow surprised when you put your child in front of a flashing screen and then ignore them for 15 years and it doesn't produce net-positive results.
But a lot of these moral panics were pushed by Christian Conservatives. Nowadays a lot of the best outrages are perpetrated by the progressive left wing. So now, video games don't just cause violence.... they cause violence against women.
Video games, music, comics, movies - they've all been attacked (and in some cases, infected) by authoritarian ideologues wishing to project their issue of the day on to your beloved hobby and pass-time. And it never stops because these people... never... stop.
Once great comic companies like Marvel are not only engaging in that aforementioned self-censorship that they shed all too recently with the Comics Code Authority committing ritual seppuku for the good of the industry; they're hiring talentless ideologues who spend more time bitching about the president on Twitter than they do writing decent comics. Because - and let's face it - they were hired based on their genitals, their race, and if not those, then their politics.
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| Woke Level: Over 9000 |
But when they can't infect something (because infecting is easier than creating), they do their utmost to associate it with bad people. For the Christian evangelicals before them, heavy metal was the Devil's music. It was the music of evolution-believing school shooters and Satan worshipping baby slaughterers. Those who produced the music were so evil that they would actively hide messages in their songs telling their listeners to kill themselves, because that's how you make money; by subliminally forcing your customers to put a shotgun in their mouth.
I mean Halestorm does that WITHOUT subliminal messaging, but no, let's go after Priest.
Now make no mistake; the Regressive Left did try to infect heavy metal, but let's be honest, you're dealing guys who beat each other up at concerts for fun. These people don't care about your feelings any more than they care about how many teeth they went into the gig with. So what's the next step? Call them sexist! Or better yet, associate them with Neo-Nazis. And thus we reach the point we're at today.
After the riots in Charlottesville in which a (as far as we know) lone white nationalist appropriated Islamic culture and drove a car through a group of leftist counter protesters, killing one and injuring others, the Calgary Police Department in Canada (because of course it was Canada) released a list of signs that your kids may be part of a hate group.
The trouble is that most of these "signs" are so vague and outright commonplace that you could change the name of the list to "Signs you are Raising an Edgy Teenager" and it would be just as, if not more, applicable. Let's have a look at these shall we?
"Sudden lack of interest in school."
Already we're starting off weak. I would be more concerned if my son were taking TOO MUCH interest in school. All I'm saying is that if your child is coming home with science books thicker than Lexington Steel's dong, then they're either curing cancer or they're developing a new, sentient cancer that can hold the world to ransom. And I'm personally not willing to take that chance.
"Adopting new groups of friends and staying out late without any explanation."
I'm not even sure I need to comment on this. You've taken a symptom of the common cold and turned it into an AIDS scare.
"Violence or secretive behavior."
Finally we're getting somewhere. But what kind of violence? Giving nerds wedgies? Punching out Chad 'cuz he was checkin' out his girl? Or was Jimmy curb-stomping Jesse Jackson in front of a burning cross? I guess we'll never know because secretive behavior is another common symptom of being a teenager.
I'm starting to think the person who wrote this has never met a kid before. Scratch that. It's not a person. Calgary is home to the very first law enforcing A.I. Like Tay, if Tay were a leftist scaremonger.
"Overt hostility to parents and family, disobedience, rudeness."
Again, very common teenager behavior. However this could easily be a sign that your child has joined Antifa. Have you ever seen those guys? There's more Daddy Issues there than a stripper convention.
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| An Antifa Elf, pre-battle. |
"Racist graffiti, drawings and doodling."
Closer, but then I remember when I was in school and one of the most popular things to draw on your desk was a swastika. Edgy teenagers will be edgy teenagers. I have to admit though; it does explain why my History project partner insisted on being called Obergruppenfuhrer.
"Playing loud, heavy music with violent lyrics."
In the article we get a spokesperson for the CPD explaining this entry:
“We’re not saying all people who listen to rock music are part of hate groups, but there tends to be a correlation – people who are involved with hate groups tend to be involved in that kind of music.”
Okay; I mean there is such a thing as "National Socialist Black Metal", so it's not like you can NEVER say metal heads can be involved in hate groups. But - and call me optimistic if you wish - I'm thinking if I pointed to a guy wearing a Marduk t-shirt and said "That guy's a Nazi," and it turned out I was right, you'd best starting calling me Jesus, because that was a miracle. Telling me a Neo-Nazi listened to heavy metal is about as relevant to me as telling me a school shooter played video games. Lots of people do. Again; this is common.
She goes on to say this entry should be taken within the context of the list. That's fine, but so far the list has consisted of things I would expect from a healthily emotional and edgy teen. The context matters little. You have given us nothing useful.
"Stereotyping and scapegoating of certain groups; name calling, racial and religious slurs in conversation at all times."
This is better. But again; I was a teenager once. Even now if I knew it would shock my mother to walk into her house dressed in an SS outfit, singing "Tomorrow Belongs to Me", I would absolutely do it. I know it wont now because my mother is practically numb to my bullshit these days.
I have to ask though - knowing these people as I do - are white people included in "certain groups"? How about Christians when it comes to religious slurs? Something tells me they aren't - call me pessimistic if you will.
"Making racist or bigoted comments about minorities, immigrants or foreigners."
You kind of already covered this. But what counts as racist or bigoted? Is my son going to get tackled if he asks why the Polish guy at Subway doesn't learn to speak English?
"A marked repugnance to consider certain ethnic or religious groups as fully Canadian or even human."
I feel like we're repeating ourselves here. Though I do enjoy the thought of a Canadian Supremacist.
"Wearing or displaying Nazi propaganda and symbols such as swastikas or the Iron Cross and/or military clothing and paraphernalia."
Where is your teenager getting all this stuff? Ebay? My grandfather's cupboard (From all the Nazis he killed of course..... Yup)? Besides, why just Nazi paraphernalia? Why not Soviet paraphernalia? What if your child has a huge picture of Mao hanging over his bed? Nazis weren't the only group that killed millions of people you know.
To be fair, the last four (or technically two, since three of them were basically the same thing) haven't been that bad. But then we get to the next one....
"Changing their appearance."
.... and we're back in the land of the vague and/or commonplace. Which is pretty much what makes up most of this list. There are few decent ones clumped together near the bottom but again, those could have been whittled down to one entry, and they're things you'd probably take note of anyway without help of a shitty Canadian police department.
It sort of reminds of that godawful "Right Wing Extremism" game that the Bedfordshire Police released, in which you meet a guy at the gym, go out for some drinks without any indication of anything nefarious going on, and then accidentally end up kicking a black man to death. Or in other words; Shia Laboeuf's regular Saturday night.
Look, I know a lot of this is coming out of good intentions (Hell does have a new dual carriageway after all). I mean people are joining weird groups left, right and center these days. The Alt-Right, Antifa, the Furries.... but scaremongering with vague bullshit like this isn't going to help. You don't want your police departments acting off of the same "if it breathes it's a Nazi" type instincts as Anti-Fail does.
But I also know a lot of this is not coming from good intentions. Far from it.
A lot of this is coming from ideological superiority. And when one doesn't accept it with open arms, then one becomes the enemy.
These people can't create, you see. And when you can't create, you infect. And when you can't infect, you smear. So these days if you're a metal head you're a Nazi. If you're a gamer you're a misogynist. And if you think Marvel sucks ever since they caught the Social Justice STI then (FEMINIST PROPAGANDA. CASUAL MISANDRY. UNSOLOCITED OPINIONS ON THE WAY MEN SIT ON TRAINS?).
There's still hope though. Those of us on the anti-authoritarian side (because really, it isn't left or right, it's authoritarian and libertarian) can create. We don't have to infect or smear. So to those of you who are out there creating; whether you be an artist, a writer, a musician, a film-maker, or just some nerd coming up with a new D&D campaign - keep doing what you're doing, and don't anyone - left or right - try to stop you.
And quite frankly.... I can't wait until Antifa tries to crash a metal show.
Addendum:
The other reason this is stupid is because you absolutely WILL have people take this sort of thing as gospel, and will suddenly start believe their kids are Nazis because they listen to Slipknot (when in reality the only harm listening to Slipknot does is on the person listening to Slipknot). And remember, it's okay to punch and harm 'Nazis' according to these people.
Also to be remembered; stories about gay and trans kids being chucked out and/or disowned by their parents. Don't think this sort of behavior is relegated only to evangelical Christians.
Now obviously being a conservative (or in my case, a Classical Liberal) is not the same as being gay or trans. But I can honestly see nutcase leftist parents making assumptions about the music (or any media) their child consumes, or taking action for their child merely holding some conservative viewpoints.
I know this sounds a little heavy and perhaps even paranoid; but honestly, people can be insane. Left, Right, Religious, Non-Religious.... There are people who, as far as I can tell, have no political affiliations who have sent their teenagers, against their will, to camps for "troubled teens," simply for looking or thinking differently. These camps are not necessarily religious either.
Bottom line: A kid listening to 'heavy music' is no more an indication of being in a hate group than a kid reading the Quran is any indication of them being an ISIS supporter. There are more accurate signs that one should be focusing on.
Like losing the only war they ever fought and yet still thinking they're superior.
Okay; I mean there is such a thing as "National Socialist Black Metal", so it's not like you can NEVER say metal heads can be involved in hate groups. But - and call me optimistic if you wish - I'm thinking if I pointed to a guy wearing a Marduk t-shirt and said "That guy's a Nazi," and it turned out I was right, you'd best starting calling me Jesus, because that was a miracle. Telling me a Neo-Nazi listened to heavy metal is about as relevant to me as telling me a school shooter played video games. Lots of people do. Again; this is common.
She goes on to say this entry should be taken within the context of the list. That's fine, but so far the list has consisted of things I would expect from a healthily emotional and edgy teen. The context matters little. You have given us nothing useful.
"Stereotyping and scapegoating of certain groups; name calling, racial and religious slurs in conversation at all times."
This is better. But again; I was a teenager once. Even now if I knew it would shock my mother to walk into her house dressed in an SS outfit, singing "Tomorrow Belongs to Me", I would absolutely do it. I know it wont now because my mother is practically numb to my bullshit these days.
I have to ask though - knowing these people as I do - are white people included in "certain groups"? How about Christians when it comes to religious slurs? Something tells me they aren't - call me pessimistic if you will.
"Making racist or bigoted comments about minorities, immigrants or foreigners."
You kind of already covered this. But what counts as racist or bigoted? Is my son going to get tackled if he asks why the Polish guy at Subway doesn't learn to speak English?
"A marked repugnance to consider certain ethnic or religious groups as fully Canadian or even human."
I feel like we're repeating ourselves here. Though I do enjoy the thought of a Canadian Supremacist.
"Wearing or displaying Nazi propaganda and symbols such as swastikas or the Iron Cross and/or military clothing and paraphernalia."
Where is your teenager getting all this stuff? Ebay? My grandfather's cupboard (From all the Nazis he killed of course..... Yup)? Besides, why just Nazi paraphernalia? Why not Soviet paraphernalia? What if your child has a huge picture of Mao hanging over his bed? Nazis weren't the only group that killed millions of people you know.
To be fair, the last four (or technically two, since three of them were basically the same thing) haven't been that bad. But then we get to the next one....
"Changing their appearance."
.... and we're back in the land of the vague and/or commonplace. Which is pretty much what makes up most of this list. There are few decent ones clumped together near the bottom but again, those could have been whittled down to one entry, and they're things you'd probably take note of anyway without help of a shitty Canadian police department.
It sort of reminds of that godawful "Right Wing Extremism" game that the Bedfordshire Police released, in which you meet a guy at the gym, go out for some drinks without any indication of anything nefarious going on, and then accidentally end up kicking a black man to death. Or in other words; Shia Laboeuf's regular Saturday night.
Look, I know a lot of this is coming out of good intentions (Hell does have a new dual carriageway after all). I mean people are joining weird groups left, right and center these days. The Alt-Right, Antifa, the Furries.... but scaremongering with vague bullshit like this isn't going to help. You don't want your police departments acting off of the same "if it breathes it's a Nazi" type instincts as Anti-Fail does.
But I also know a lot of this is not coming from good intentions. Far from it.
A lot of this is coming from ideological superiority. And when one doesn't accept it with open arms, then one becomes the enemy.
These people can't create, you see. And when you can't create, you infect. And when you can't infect, you smear. So these days if you're a metal head you're a Nazi. If you're a gamer you're a misogynist. And if you think Marvel sucks ever since they caught the Social Justice STI then (FEMINIST PROPAGANDA. CASUAL MISANDRY. UNSOLOCITED OPINIONS ON THE WAY MEN SIT ON TRAINS?).
There's still hope though. Those of us on the anti-authoritarian side (because really, it isn't left or right, it's authoritarian and libertarian) can create. We don't have to infect or smear. So to those of you who are out there creating; whether you be an artist, a writer, a musician, a film-maker, or just some nerd coming up with a new D&D campaign - keep doing what you're doing, and don't anyone - left or right - try to stop you.
And quite frankly.... I can't wait until Antifa tries to crash a metal show.
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| God willing it's a Danzig concert. |
Addendum:
The other reason this is stupid is because you absolutely WILL have people take this sort of thing as gospel, and will suddenly start believe their kids are Nazis because they listen to Slipknot (when in reality the only harm listening to Slipknot does is on the person listening to Slipknot). And remember, it's okay to punch and harm 'Nazis' according to these people.
Also to be remembered; stories about gay and trans kids being chucked out and/or disowned by their parents. Don't think this sort of behavior is relegated only to evangelical Christians.
Now obviously being a conservative (or in my case, a Classical Liberal) is not the same as being gay or trans. But I can honestly see nutcase leftist parents making assumptions about the music (or any media) their child consumes, or taking action for their child merely holding some conservative viewpoints.
I know this sounds a little heavy and perhaps even paranoid; but honestly, people can be insane. Left, Right, Religious, Non-Religious.... There are people who, as far as I can tell, have no political affiliations who have sent their teenagers, against their will, to camps for "troubled teens," simply for looking or thinking differently. These camps are not necessarily religious either.
Bottom line: A kid listening to 'heavy music' is no more an indication of being in a hate group than a kid reading the Quran is any indication of them being an ISIS supporter. There are more accurate signs that one should be focusing on.
Like losing the only war they ever fought and yet still thinking they're superior.
